I also realized with my thickness in regards to grammer, that its no small feat I receieved an email why I had discontinued this blog. I haven't. neglected? yes. I have. but not on purpose merely bc my thoughts and ideas have been distracted and have given way to other projects, people and personalities. its been a trying month. the month of may has been and its barely over. too many issues, tribulations and desires have been accumilating for months at the very chance to be discovered.
this is not far off. but one has to be aware. one story brings me to my mind. a story with so many twists and turns, its a wonder that anyone can ever really trace where it veered so terribly off course. of course, many know this anguishing story of love and lust. no, this story is not autobiographical but it is instead a story where the two main characters are not me at all or some sort of analogy for me. I will bore you details of my own stories later on in the post.
but as for this story. I wrote this for my final paper. I've broken it down a bit.
one day a man, heartbrokened after many months, decided to exonerate himself from his past failures and decided the time to move forward was coming. no longer loathing into self-dount and self-conscieness, he decided his time had come and he was ready to embrace a woman as a partner.
no longer could he absolve himself from trials and tribulation of a relationship or remit watchfullness to a degree that promote the most slackerish of tendency in terms of nuture and care for someone else. as early as possible, he decreed he was back in the game. at this turn of a events entered a woman. she too herself, having been badly burned decided, she would remain cautious but possibly optimistic. what was to go on? I had hardly the clue but I figured a more formal introduction could be had.
so two meet up, cautiously. the woman decides, she had been burn onced by someone who had a relationship with me and therefore, trust and faith in my prospect had to be given at arms length, as much as she wanted to submit to the alter, get down to one knee and opine for delieverence and faith, she merely couldn't bear to stomach one more. the twist of another nocent wound that would heal but eventually turn into a scar.
feeling contrite to her plight, as only I can, I decide to merely nudge but not push. while I build him up a little, a direct declaration is made on her part. she remains tutelary to her own ambitions and without hesitation, sticks to it. this is extended and worded to the man. the man, takes this at face value, and doesn't show a inch of movement in his reponse. his face weathered and worn down, had expected this wouldn't be it. the woman's response, muted as well.
they engage. what happens becomes a matter of speculation. assisted by our lively imaginations and there limited comments on the matter, none of the spectators involve are able to paint a picture of their happenings. but as quickly as it started, it was supposively over in my mind. the man meets another and decides to engage with her. seeing her as the safe and relative reliable pick of the two, he moves on. for reasons, that still remain foreign to the me, the woman, is casted to the side. a sidenote I would not know was happening. as far as I knew, it was mutual. she simply wanted no part of a committement.
but she became peccant. and she knew it. months later, there I was, shamefaced at the whole ordeal. yet, I feel exculpated. my involvement was minimal esp. as I became one of the last to figure out this mystery. unfortunately, during the interweaving months, the woman, her interest grew and grew. unknown to most espescially myself. I had not the slightest idea that a carryover was coming. not until the arrival of an old friend from the city of angels had arrived.
his arrival brought forth the sins carried from that town. attached to him. and with him, he brought forth to the masses the true speculated story. slowly. and division. camps were set up and knives were out. this would be it. for a few months. and for a few months, these division were fraught with the inability to upkeep anything. and we all became lost in the battle.
loose lips sank. and newsflash became saluted slogans and stirred the spectators into action. but this all came to pass. the woman and the man. seem to grow hardened by the day. jealously, envy, love, lust and atonement were all becoming the march toward the eventual.
and now, the man has realized the beauty, which he never considered ugly but knew that the woman sang him the music that he always loved.
the second woman and her time, are slowly coming to an end. an end, we all saw coming. no longer the safe and easy and relative one. but what will the man do? will he once again minim himself in life. its all hard to say. will the woman still take him back? will she let herself be open to such a volitale time again. while the past is no indicator what a 'she & him' could be.
we all agree on one thing.
they are best served being with eachother. very rarely do you meet two whom you know whom you believe are really meant to be. you see the looks they give and laughter they create and you realize, you could be witnessing something akin to mirabile dictu.
how does this pertain to our american values class? well, to be frank and honest, it does and it doesn't. values are placed on a pedestal in one's mind. we treasure love like the upmost saint. we all subscribe and deal with it in different ways but in some ways, love is like the quote from corinthians. it is patient and ultimately it is kind. its optimism and hope can bring even some of the most ardent pessimists to their knees and abade for nothing and a nary declination isn't even required. time came through for her, even in the most accepted of hearts. a labour of love. a battle in the trenches in which emotions could've bursted like the bombs above. but they didn't this speaks like a love lorn cross. it isn't that easy.
but the woman never abated her desire. not once. no one was allowed her to vitiate her claim to what she sought to rightfully share. even with a blemish to his record and standing, he believed was true but wasn't. they eventually, like the values of those before them, could achieve that unadulterated bliss. and again, the woman never saw a MÉALLIANCE with him. she might have in the beginning, but she didn't. she remained chacun À sa gout.
complicated further by les affaires du couer. and now he is starting to see her as the a caelo usque ad centrum. how is this. for now, hopefully, they can move forward. or as they say in latin, de integro.
if only we were all so lucky.